Creating a good sense of time and place slows the text
down. The young adult has a need for
fast pace. How can this dilemma be solved?
Some useful texts:
1. Filmic qualities / real-time / mind-reading in:
1. John Marsden: When the War began
2. Bryony Pearce: Angel’s Fury.
3. Susan Price: A Sterkarm Kiss
4. Philip Pullman: The Amber Spyglass
5. Philip Pullman: The Tiger in the Well
2. Tension, Pace and High Stakes in:
1. Melvin Burgess: The Hit
2. Teri Terry: Slated
3. Sara Grant: Dark Parties
4. Suzanne Collins: The Hunger Games
Film qualities, real-time and mind-reading
We have a lot of “real time” in YA novels. The reader is taken right into the middle of
the story. We become very close to the protagonist and their friends. This is
harder to do in films. This slows the narrative down.
What about the “car chase” and the excitement between the
crisis and the resolution? And the need for pace?
How can we satisfy both needs at once?
John Marsden: Tomorrow, When the War Began.
“As with the radio, so with the Land Rover. I
revved it so hard and dropped the clutch so roughly that Kevin, who was now
sitting down, hit his head and hurt it, nearly dropping Millie, whom he was
still nursing. The Landie kangaroo-hopped a few metres and stalled. I could
hear Grandma’s voice saying ‘More haste less speed’. I took a deep breath and
tried again, more calmly. This time was
better. We went out the gate and down the road with me saying to Homer, ‘I
forgot to check the chooks.’
‘OK Ellie,” he said, “it’ll be
cool. We’ll work it out.” But he didn’t look at me, just sat forward on the
seat, peering anxiously through the windscreen. (58) “
Both the premise and the theme are HUGE. Real time is used. We are in Ellie’s head. We
have movement – they are going on a journey – hinting at a car chase. The tension is high.
Bryony Pearce: Angel’s Fury.
“’You’re here to get better.’ Her voice was exasperated.
‘You
need to focus on your health, not on boys.’
I dug my toes into wet gravel. ‘I
know.’
Mum touched my chin. ‘I know you know,
pumpkin, but please be careful. That lad
is older than you. You haven’t had much experience with that sport of thing and
now isn’t the time. When you’re well you’ll meet someone.’
I ducked away. ‘He’s hardly spoken to me,
Mum. And he wouldn’t be interested anyway.’ Angrily I gestured, taking in my
cheap clothes, lazy hair and pallid complexion.
Mum shook her head again, slowly, and her
mouth turned down. ‘I don’t want you to get hurt.’
I moved to follow Dad. ‘No
one’s going to get hurt.’” (79)
Again, both the premise and the theme are huge. The dialogue
is in real time. We understand Carrie’s emotional state as we see her dig her
toes into wet gravel. The tension between Cassie and her parents drive the
scene. We sense a potential love interest which adds to tension.
Susan Price A Sterkarm Kiss
“Windsor came through the crowd, gesturing to
Per to follow him. Per looked about, collected his cousins and parents, and
followed Windsor. They pushed their way through the crowds of gaping Sterkarms
and Grannams, towards the further end of the Elf-Palace. There was the altar,
with splendid shields displaying family badges- made of more flowers! And
there, waiting, was Grannam who called himself “Lord Brackenhill”, with women
and soldiers gathered around him. And a priest.
Perhaps it was the sight of the
priest – a rare sight in border lands- that made Per, for the first time that
day, feel alarm. Wed! Why was he getting wed?
He calmed himself by reflecting
that it was only a wedding. He and his wife might get on, even though she was a
Grannam, once she was away from her family. Who knew? And if they didn’t, well
there was plenty of other company at the tower. Get a couple of sons on her,
and, after that, he wouldn’t have to see her much.
A girl stood before the altar.
That would be his bride. His pulse quickened as he walked towards his first
sight of her. Would he be bedded that night with a beauty or-?
He stepped into his place
beside her. She didn’t look up- indeed she lowered her head still further in a
properly modest way. That wasn’t promising.” (57)
Note, this is one fifth of the book in. There is no dialogue
here. There is a filmic introduction – can you follow what the camera sees? Then
we are inside Per’s head. He muses about the forthcoming wedding. The author
deliberately stops us seeing the girl he is to marry. There are high stakes for
protagonist; she is in love with Per.
Philip Pullman’s The Amber Spyglass
“She looked back to remind him of it now. She
was Roger’s Lyra, full of grace and daring; she didn’t need to creep along like
an insect.
But the little boy’s whispering
voice said, “Lyra, be careful –
remember you en’t dead like us –“
And it seemed to happen so
slowly, but there was nothing she could do; her weight shifted, the stones
moved under her feet, and helplessly she began to slide. In the first moment it
was annoying, and then it was comic: she thought how silly! But she utterly failed to hold on to anything, as the
stones rumbled and tumbled beneath her, as she slid down towards the edge,
gathering speed, the horror of it slammed into her. She was going to fall.
There was nothing to stop her. It was already too late.” (378)
Tension is caused as Lyra and Will are in the land of the
dead and they have had to leave their daemons behind. We are inside Lyra’s head
at the beginning. We see her emotional bond with Roger. Roger is believable. See some indications of
age and class. Then the scene becomes filmic as Lyra starts tumbling. It all
happens in real time. More drama also in their predicament: they are in a
frightening place and are also challenging a corrupt authority.
Philip Pullman’s The Tiger in the Well
“’Yes,’ said Sally. ‘What can I do
for you?’
‘I am under
instruction to give this into your hands, miss.’
He held out the
envelope. Sally saw a red legal seal on it. Automatically she took it from him.
It’s very hard not to take things people hand you; politeness is an easy thing
to take advantage of.
The man doffed
his hat again, and turned to go.
‘Wait, please,’
she said. ‘Who are you and what’s this?’
‘It’s fully
explained inside,’ he said. ‘As for me, I’m a process-server, miss. I’ve done
my duty, and I must be on my way, else I shall miss my train. Beautiful weather
for the time of year …’
With a nervous
little smile, he turned and set off back up the garden. Ellie, after a troubled
glance at Sally, hastened after him.
Harriet,
disappointed in the visitor’s poor taste, turned back to Bruin and the honey.
Sally sat down. She was conscious that she might have made a mistake in
accepting the envelope so tamely: couldn’t you refuse to accept a summons, or
something?
She tore open the
thick paper and pulled out a long, carefully folded document. The Royal Arms
was embossed at the top, and paragraph after paragraph of legal copperplate
stretched out below.” (6)
The story is gripping throughout. Sally has her identity
stolen, not cloned which is what we normally mean by identity being stolen. She
has her identity taken away from her. There is a short scene full of tension
here. We watch Sally have the conversation with the caller. We also watch the
reaction of the two other people. We watch her open the document. The scene
reveals that she is being sued for divorce form a marriage that never was. A
very high concept shown in real time.
Tension, Pace and High Stakes
Scenes with pace, tension and high stakes can combine with
scenes set in real time that also show a character’s inner thoughts. We can
have both emotional closeness and fast pace. Some texts make a particular
feature of this. We call them “High Concept”. Many describe a “near future”
tending towards a dystopia. High Concepts can be in individual scenes and / or
part of the whole plot.
Melvin Burgess’ The Hit
‘Death’ is a euthanasia drug, offering one week of high
quality life followed by death. There is no antidote. The story starts ‘media
res’ with a great deal of tension – has rock star Jimmy Earle taken ‘Death’?
The protagonist also takes the drug. There are lots of twists and turns and also
real pictures of Manchester. A close third person narrative is used so we are
often in Adam’s head.
Teri Terry’s Slated
There is a high concept here; young offenders’ brains are
wiped. They are not allowed to feel discontented. However Kyla begins to
remember snippets she shouldn’t be able to. At the beginning, she leaves the
unit where she was rehabilitated and goes through several crises. Terry builds her world with plenty of
attention to detail. The stakes get higher as Kyla gradually finds out more.
Sara Grant’s Dark Parties
Here we have a near future concept: people live under the
protectosphere as the world beyond it is supposed to be dangerous. Despite the
setting, the adolescents behave as those we meet today. The mystery about
Neva’s grandmother drives the tension. The pace quickens as she escapes from
the protectosphere. The car chase is in exactly the right place.
Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games
Here is a near future with high stakes; young people must
kill or get killed in an extreme reality TV game show. The story is from the point of view of Katniss
Everdeen. She is already a risk-taker – she hunts illegally. Pace and high
stakes are created through the games. Yet we are also shown strong
relationships with her mother and sister and with two possible love interests. Unprecedented,
the rules of the game are changed to allow two survivors.
Conflict solved?
Slower scenes can be lifted by there being high stakes
associated with it. This plot point often reflects the over-arching theme and
premise of the novel. High concept novels will still show emotional closeness –
using all of the tactics we looked at last time. These two distinct types
really meet in the middle. Is there really any difference between the two in
terms of narrative content?
Checklist for creating a real world in your novel: Twenty Questions
Look at this in other novels as well as your own.
- What has the writer done here to include a sense of time and space?
2. In
which ways does this piece of prose resemble a novel rather than an epic story?
3. How
close is the time / space image to real time?
4. Which
bits of the scene are left to the reader’s imagination?
5. What
makes the space concrete here?
6. Has
the writer taken short cuts?
7. How
does this time / space frame impinge on the characters?
8. Which
voices are there in this extract?
9. Which
narrative techniques are used?
10. How
do we recognize different characters from what they say?
11. Is
there an authorial voice?
12. Does
the writer use the senses?
13. Whose
point of view is s/he showing?
14. How
do they show that point of view?
15. Does
the author step in?
16. Can
you spot places where the writer goes down deep?
17. Where
are they more on the surface?
18. How
does the writer use dialogue?
19. How
is this similar to and different from a film?
20.
What
is the balance of exposition, description, dialogue, action, and inner
monologue? Does this feel about right and why or why not?
How does your novel shape up?
- Are your stakes high enough?
- Is there enough tension and pace?
- Are you nevertheless maintaining character closeness?
Rewrite a couple of scenes with this in mind.
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