One morning, waking up normally, while he goes to the toilet and gazes at his penis as usual, it seems, it has become small. The sunlight is coming through the ventilator [GJ1] and the light creates a form of vagina on the floor; in its extra light, he checks his penis again and again. He also remembers that he has not masturbated for a long time—but why! Is his voice also changing to a feminine voice as a reverse turn[GJ2] !
Trying to suppress such a worry, he thinks, [GJ3] how long could I suppress this! And is it right!
His roommate[GJ4] Ripon, who fulfills the condition that he’ll not tell anyone the matter, first discloses it to him. Apparently, [GJ5] Ripon begins to listen to it with a serious feeling but a mysterious irony twinkle in his eyes.
Welcome, he says, I think if you become a female, then you’ll be a beautiful girl.
In the body and consciousness, such a deep chemistry, all its strange manifestations—how to deal with it and solve this!
By this time, it’s definitely going beyond the limits of control! His accent, movements, and glances provoke the students of his hostel and college in mockery. It makes him ashamed and embarrassed—these reactions also make them more provocative and even some of them are thrilled by the electric sparking of his gazes too.
It seems they also know the fact. But how[GJ6] !
It’s very possible, that Ripon has played a key role in it. Despite his promise not to disclose the matter to anyone, John was feeling uncertain. Maybe Ripon tried but couldn’t control himself. First, he says to someone, I’m only telling you an interesting secret, please don’t tell anyone. It’s like a girl who says to her lover, I love only you—and then she says it to 10[GJ7] young men!
Then, John searches for a specialist related to the issue, and at one-point he makes an appointment with an endocrinologist.
Estrogen! These are all the actions of such kinds of hormones, the endocrinologist says, the heredity, in many ways, gave you a fertile body for the creation of these hormones, then by subtracting and adding they are changing you. Anyhow, I’m prescribing some anti-doses to destroy these hormones and prevent their production. And as the psychological treatment: stop thinking of girls, especially weed out from your mind their breasts, vagina, hip, etc. If you think about these organs, it means you want those and, they will develop in you. Have you any girlfriend?
He had a strong crush on his classmate Anika. He imagined her—he is chatting, caressing, and kissing her, through this, he even masturbated. [GJ8] In the meantime, that’s stopped. Now he’s in silence in the face of the specialist’s question.
If there is a girl you love, the specialist advises, if you want to get rid of this disaster, leave her and forget.
The attraction to women is the basic characteristics [GJ9] of manhood, which is supposed to sustain one male—but the specialist’s advice! John falls in a dilemma.
Meanwhile, the time goes by, but change doesn’t turn reverse.
At this stage, the endocrinologist advises, Speak in a tough, masculine voice—think your penis is still as large and as powerful as before, even try to excite it.
Maybe the specialist now thinks, how his masculinity will remain awakened and active in his mind and body, as his acquired knowledge says, but is this not the reverse of his first phase treatment! [GJ10] Is he his guinea pig!
In the next appointment, the endocrinologist observes him very keenly and then asks, Do you want to be a woman?
Maybe that’s existing in his unconscious—he can answer nothing.
If you want to be a woman, the specialist proceeds, I can make you that by surgical operations. Vaginoplasty can create a vagina, clitoris, labia majora, labia minora. [GJ11] using your existing genital tissue. But it needs a lot of money!
The specialist also tells him to stop the prescribed anti-doses.
Now he always notices his changes and imagines being a girl.
But the specialist says, If the necessary surgeries are not done immediately to let you be a complete woman, your condition may be critical.
Currently, some students at his college and hostel tease him, saying eunuch, half-woman, etc.—as if the specialist confirms this identification.
His anxiety increases[GJ12] . If any mother gives birth to a transgender child, then the parents drop the child off in their community, in an inhumane environment. The child forgets the root and leads the life begging by dancing and singing with other transgenders, and even like lumpen by artifice and stealing. There are such terms as transgender dance, eunuch culture, etc. In the ‘National folk-culture festival’ there’s an evening for the third gender’s presentation—last year he enjoyed it with Ripon. Then where s/he can go to lead her/his life if s/he becomes transgender!
Is the specialist scaring him! One day when he was waiting to meet the specialist in the waiting room, a man was speaking from the chair next to him to a woman,[GJ13] The endocrinologist pushed his patient to surgery for the interest of [GJ14] money.
John then searches for another specialist.
Now, the change is at such a stage that if we try to control it, the endocrinologist John finds out next, says, it may create great trouble, even turn into such a complex state that we would have nothing to do. Meanwhile, it’s running so smoothly towards womanhood, you need no hormone vaccine or surgery. Now rather you welcome your womanhood and pursue to [GJ15] become a woman in mind, in body, and be ready to enjoy your new life. But it’s not that any problem, any complexity may not appear. So, you should have a keen observation of a specialist.
By this time, the mockery with him doesn’t remain limited in the hostel and college; it spreads to their adjacent society and becomes a hypersensitive excitement.
Meanwhile, the physical and also the mental revolution are happening, but slowly.
Gradually his penis is going to be extinct. His chest is growing like a pair of women’s breasts. Also, his body is becoming more delicate.
When it’s happening in him, then it seems, on his next bed, Ripon is dreaming an erotic daydream. Once upon a time, Ripon proposed to him to go to a brothel, where they would pay a prostitute as per rate [GJ16] only to examine her vagina, breasts, and body—how it acts as such an enjoyable source. Now, of course, he is waiting for newly created sex organs in him—breasts, vagina, etc.—and also thinking about having sex.
Within a few days, the curiosity of the students of his hostel, [GJ17] becomes a peculiar disturbance. It also becomes difficult to defecate for him. They just do not peek in his room or bathroom now and again—one evening someone pushes the door of the toilet so strongly that all of a sudden, the cleat slips away, and the door opens—the crazy student sees the stage of his transitional genitalia at a glance! Then how can he live in the hostel![GJ18]
Then where can he go and get shelter! If he returns to his own home—how will his parents handle him/her! That’s a remote small town—it’s impossible to continue the necessary treatment there.
To escape from an unbearable situation, he takes shelter at his maternal uncle’s quarter in this capital. Uncle is worried for him/her. Aunt considers it a sex distortion, a very dirty matter, and becomes anxious for his[GJ19] young sons—they may be curious and interested about the new sex organs; if it happens, their characters will be ruined.
He understands his aunt, but he has to stay here because of treatment[GJ20] . Fear of becoming transgender, their homelessness chases him like a nightmare. In this situation, he even thinks it’s logical if I could [GJ21] commit suicide. But it’s not the ending or vanishing of his existence—the suicide would rebirth him as an interesting story among his friends and relatives, even in newspapers. Then the woman she wants to be—that’s best.
John thinks by this time he should also take the college final exam.
On the pretext to help his study, Ripon regularly comes here. But s/he realizes Ripon doesn’t really want his study progress[GJ22] .
Through all such complications[GJ23] , John takes part in the exam.
Ripon also goes with him/her to the specialist’s chamber[GJ24] —knows the development with a special eagerness!
This time examining him/her very closely with mysterious curiosity, the specialist advises, Now dream and feel, a young man, by churning your soft breast, is spreading the endless joy in your body, as the God creates nectar by churning whole water of a sea for to drink. Even, an embryo is developing in your uterus, and a baby is spreading its hands and feet towards you from inside your womb.
One evening the specialist presses his—her breast with hand consecutively and
tries to take these in his fist. Then, through genital examination by his
finger, he says with a smile, It’s that Crack of Doris Lessing!
Despite some complications with menstruation—extinction of beard, perfect formation of uterus he basically metamorphoses into a young girl.
Nevertheless, there’s a problem in her breast development—the recessive elements of his chests grow up like a pair of boils, then stops, and do not develop to full bloom boobs.
When you’ll in the process of full girlhood, the specialist says, such as a man’s hand would press and caress your breast, have sex, and would menstruate, those might influence to nourish the [GJ25] breasts. A great development may happen when you conceive. From the womb, the zygote will send its future needs to breast and... then the breastfeeding… At your golden age, you’ll gain the perfect breasts like a pair of heavenly apples!
The specialist who has passed his middle age and is leaning towards the old age, it seems, is pursuing to revive [GJ26] his youth by talking and touching her—she is embarrassed. Rather, when Ripon comes here to meet her, that ever known Ripon is seen as a timid lover, and she feels a deep thrill. Then the wishes arise in her, [GJ27] if he would sit close [GJ28] to her and kiss!
Now apparently, when she is a young girl, she can’t return to the hostel and go to college; she is bound to leave the capital and go back to her hometown, to her parents.
In her old home, in ever-familiar society, existed all problems follows her in a new and peculiar form.[GJ29]
She has to cut her hair, but through continuous cutting, how it becomes a girl’s bobcat style she can’t realize! When she wears her previous dress, she looks at herself in the mirror, an aboriginal young woman, as if it’s at a fashion show! [GJ30] Her mother, however, gives her two used saris. Now she wears the sari in conservative style. But even in their inner house, she has to lead her life just in infinite shame.
It’s very embarrassing for her when she appears in front of somebody; they search her full body with curious eyes. He[GJ31] always tries to escape from people. In this time when the national daily The Horizon publishes “Sex Change—A Young Man Has Become a Young Girl,” she becomes a victim of endless public nuisance. People wait around his[GJ32] home boundaries, and if she comes to the balcony, even stands near a window, they tease. Then her mother begins to lift curtains around her one after another.
Despite so many problems around her, now her mind wishes for the male. In the last days of his hall life to his next bed, Ripon was waiting impatiently for his metamorphosis[GJ33] . Then one evening he asked him, If you become a girl will you be my girlfriend? Now she waits for him in her imagination. Besides, what else can she do? ♦[GJ34]
[GJ1]This seems odd. Done;t air rather than sunlight normally come through a ventilator?
[GJ2]Intriguing
[GJ3]Try to avoid this sort of tagging – we already know he’s thinking as we are in his viewpoint.
[GJ4]Comma here
[GJ5]Is the comma really needed here?
[GJ6]Quite a few exclamation marks. Are they all needed?
[GJ7]Generally numbers up one hundred should be written in words. However there are lots of exceptions to this rule. This, alas isn’t one of them.
[GJ8]Slightly awkward. Maybe: He imagined her—he is chatting, caressing, and kissing her, and even as he thinks through this, he masturbates.
[GJ9]is one of the…
[GJ10]This is awkward and difficult to understand.
[GJ11]Comma here
[GJ12]Good use of a short sentence to break the text up a little.
[GJ13]Full stop here
[GJ14]Not needed
[GJ15]Endeavour?
[GJ16]The going rate
[GJ17]At his hotel – and comma not needed
[GJ18]Watch those exclamation marks again.
[GJ19]her?
[GJ20]of the treatment
[GJ21]to
[GJ22]study to progress
[GJ23]may be: despite allof the complications
[GJ24]surgery? Consulting room?
[GJ25]the evlopment
[GJ26]trying to revive
[GJ27]; here
[GJ28]Maybe: if only he would si close to her and kiss her.
[GJ31]S/he
[GJ32]His/ her or her / his
[GJ33]Confusing – it sounds as if Ripon is going to change.
[GJ34]An interesting story where you study some complex characters.
I’m guessing English isn’t your first language and it might be good to work with a native speaker of English before you submit a text like this.
I think this can be worked up into a very good story.
No comments:
Post a Comment